SeptNoWriMo · writing

SeptNoWriMo: A Case for Self-Confidence

 day, I began writing my first novel that I intend to publish!

I logged 1700 words or so and completed a prologue in an hour and a half or so… at 7am, no less! I was so proud and excited!… and then I let my husband read it.

Now, don’t get me wrong: my husband loves me and constantly pushes me to become a better person. Like yesterday, when we did an interval run together. I wanted to quit and cry but he made me finish… with my head held high and everything. So don’t think I’m dogging on my husband when I say this:

He gave me feedback. And I had all the doubts.

Of course, he said it was good and he liked it. But why is it so short?, he asks me. 

I had been quite happy with my 1700 words.
And even though that was all he said, I had a million other worries: what if my idea is too short? What if it’s too shallow? What if I can’t finish? What if I do finish, and no one likes it? And thus we spiral downward into a hundred self-doubts. 

That’s generally what it sounds like inside my head.

As I reflected on my chronic self-doubt, another thought came into my head: 

God would not give me this gift if he didn’t expect me to use it.

So who am I to tell him no? So what if I have all the worries and doubts? That’s not my job. My job is to be faithful, and to write. And to share my gifts. And to love my husband for his dedication to my self-improvement.

All of these reasons are why I’m beginning a SeptNoWriMo, per se: a September Novel Writing Month. I intend to hammer out a first Draft of my novel. I’ve done it before; this shouldn’t be impossible if I keep my head in the game!

I’ll be working two overnights this month, so I started a bit early to compensate. I can do what I want! 😉

But I’m 25 years old, for heaven’s sake. If I don’t write now, then when? If I don’t share my story, then who will?

In all things, may God be glorified. Even through my self-doubts. And even though my imperfect writing challenges.

How do you combat self-doubt?

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8 thoughts on “SeptNoWriMo: A Case for Self-Confidence

  1. I’m so glad that you decided to keep working on your novel. Feedback is given to not to stop doing what you’re doing but instead to guide you in doing it in the right way. Self-doubts especially arise when we are too expectant of something, hence the extra need of being cautious arises which is a good thing! Listen to your self-doubts but only as a constructive criticism of your work. I hope your novels turn out to be as great as you want to make it, best wishes 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much! I think you’re exactly right- the part about being too expectant. I do have all the high hopes! And I agree that the feedback is constructive, not just straight criticism, so I am lucky that way.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m recently getting over the self-doubt phase of my writing career. (His is the first time I’m going through it and I’m sure it won’t be the last.) Anyway I didn’t write for months. But one day I decided that I needed to get back into it or else the negative voices in my head would be right. Maybe try keeping writing down your daily goals and then putting a check mark (or something similar) next to it when you finish. There’s something oddly rewarding about doing that.

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      1. I love making lists too. I forgot to mention earlier, 1700 words in an hour is a lot! I wish I had the dedication (or lack of distractions) to accomplish that.

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