To celebrate 50+ followers, 100+ likes and 100+ comments, I’m going to share a fairly personal post: a bit of honesty, a bit of theory, a bit of advent reflecting… and a future full of hope.
My first thought is on vulnerability. We have so much freedom through semi-anonymous blogging, don’t we? My other social media friends know me in real life, so I already have that pre-made mask of what people have come to expect of me. It’s hard to reveal our struggles or our personal challenges to our closest friends, much less to the general public of social media.
In the same turn, it can be hard to make changes our lives without being perceived as fake, a hypocrite, inauthentic… when actually, a change of self may be a move towards the authentic, the true, the beautiful. In a lifestyle shift from the mediocre to the intentional, I’m saying, look, I’m not judging others, and I know I haven’t been perfect in the past. I’m simply looking for a better way, and I want to be able to express that through my writing, without others’ criticism of my past.
On my blog, though, a vast majority of my readers don’t know anything about me. I can be myself… or at least a different filter of me. I can live up to my ideals a little easier in this blog, here in theory-ville. I can speak on pastoral topics I struggle to live out, and share my hurts and joys and creativity; I can live a simpler lifestyle without having to wonder what people might think about me. My readers don’t come bearing pre-conceived notions about me. I really appreciate that.
My second thought is on humility. During Sunday’s homily, the priest spoke about the word humility. It’s from the Latin root humus, or earth. Being from the dirt, from the ground.
Grounded. Simple. I want to be like that.
It’s easy enough to have a false sense of humility, of what we think it should be. Sometimes it takes the form of self-deprecating language or ungratefulness: oh, thanks for the compliment, but I’m actually not very good… how rude is that? That’s not humble. Humble is recognizing who we are at our core, being grateful for what we’ve been given, and not pretending to be someone else: learning to live and act within our means, while placing others’ interests before our own. It’s tied to vulnerability, I think.
My third thought is on blogging. I hope that, as a blogger, I can be both humble and vulnerable. I hope that my writing reflects my intent to be my best, most authentic self: joyful and hopeful, creative and communal, humble and vulnerable.
I want to live richly, to share the very best of myself with others as a model.
I want to live with vulnerability, being open to sharing my struggles and fears in addition to my joys and successss.
I want to live simply, and share that simplicity and joy with others.
I want to create, and represent my generation well.
I want to live a humble, grounded life and be a rock of refuge for others, in good times and in bad.
I want to share my life with my community: those I know in daily life, and those I have met through this blog.
Thank you for being a part of my community. I hope I serve you well.